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The Return of Owen


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#1 YUNG MASTERLESS GLENCOUR

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 10:43 AM

This is a prequel to this story.

Armored Core: The Return of Owen
Disclaimer; they don't own any armored core, I do.

Chapter 1: The Default Chapter

A black and purple AC is seen watching over a burning textile factory. It was a turban factory that acted as a front for a terrorist cell of AC pilots, or as they prefer to be called, Ravens.

Pilot Rank: A-1
Pilot Name: Raor Stones
AC Name: Bong
A new comer who rose through the ranks rapidly. Some say he is invincible. He is like a steel clam: cool, emotionless, and ruthlessly trapping his victims and turning them into profit. He wears the emblem of the Cold Blood unit still.

Pilot Rank: S-1
Pilot Name: Lukav Mineav Sr.
AC Name: Moonscraper
The former head of the former Cold Blood unit when it existed, and the top ranked raven. He is waiting in the forefront to see what Raor can really do.

Pilot Rank: A-1A
Pilot Name: TM
AC Name: Thor's Colon
A not-really impressive rookie who took control of the kai arena as fast as anyone before him. Some say he is indestructible. There are whispers that he has also never been in a real AC fight, just praying on weak targets. He is not from the Cold Blood unit.

At mission site Armored Turban Textile Factory:

Raor Stones: mission complete
Sara: good work raor
Raor: yes I know
Sara: yes you are very funny as well
Raor: rageface
Sara: Return to base

Back at a hangar in Layered:

Lukav: has he returned yet?
TM: not yet
Lukav: face him to the death and test his skills
TM: okay
Lukav: RAVEN
TM: I will get my AC ready
Lukav: yes

At Raor's hangar in Layered:

Sara: your AC didn't take much damage
Raor: yes that is good
Sara: you are getting better
Raor: yes
Sara: if someone attacks us now you should be ready for them
Raor: I believe so yes
AC voice: All systems online
Raor: an enemy is here?
Sara: destroy your enemy
Raor: okay
AC voice: AC detected, pilot name: TM, AC Name: Thor's Colon
Raor: heh, I will slay his colon
Sara: yes slay his colon
TM slashes at Raor but Raor boosts over it
Raor: too slow
TM: you are not supposed to dodge people don't dodge in kai arena
Raor: this is not kai
Raor plunges his sword into TM's head and TM explodes
Sara: His colon is maxed, return to base
Raor: we are in the base
Sara: yes
Raor: we need to find out who sent him
Sara: I found out who already, it was Lukav
Raor: Lukav? It must finally be time…

---

Chapter 2: Duel in the Desert

Pilot Rank: L-1
Pilot Name: LCC
AC Name: Joel
The most powerful Canadian Raven. Some say he is undefeatable. He fought in the kai arena before entering the Canada arena. He is a friend.

Pilot Rank: O-1
Pilot Name: AJ Raven
AC Name: Clockwork Elf 5
A mysterious Raven from an unknown land. Some say he is unknowable. He has been seen in many places but he is hard to find. He is looking for his greatest rival.

Pilot Rank: P-1
Pilot Name: Omega Pendragon
AC Name: Crying Game
A former member of the Cold Blood unit. Some say he is unreasonable. He is loyal to Lukav still.

At Raor’s hangar in Layered, after maxing TM out:

Sara: what will you do
Raor: I pray for answer
Sara: Cold Blood
Raor: yes
Sara: incoming new mission to destroy underwater turban factory
Raor: I have justice
Sara: yes
Raor: mission accepted
Somewhere else in Layered:
Lukav: We shall proceed
Omega Pendragon: Shall I go?
Lukav: yes
Omega Pendragon: I am eager to see Raor again
Lukav: interrupt his mission and kill him
Omega Pendragon: robots

At mission site underwater turban base:

Raor: I am here
Sara: begin mission
Raor: I hate turbans
Sara: yes
AC voice: AC detected, pilot name: AJ Raven, AC name: Clockwork Elf 5
Raor: what are you doing here?
AJ: I am looking for my rival
AJ fires his rifle and Raor takes cover behind a pile of turbans
Sara: are you okay?
Raor: I am fine he is crazy but not smart or good
Sara: he should be easy to kill alone
AC voice: AC detected, pilot name: Omega Pendragon, AC name: Crying Game
Raor: I knew you would show up
OP: I miss you come back
Raor: NEVER
OP: PONIES NOOOOOO
OP fires his flame thrower at the pile of turbans
Raor: 2 vs 1
AC voice: AC detected, pilot name: LCC, AC name: Joel
LCC: I am the LCC
Raor: biblioteca
Raor fires missiles all over OP’s face and explodes him
OP: RAOR NOOOOOOoooooo
Raor: whining to the end
AJ: the fight is not over I have alien cannon overed weapon
Raor: I will kill you and your aliens
AJ: my aliens will kill you
Raor rips AJ Raven’s head off
Sara: good work destroy the factory and return to base
Raor: yes
Raor destroys the factory

Back at Raor’s hangar in Layered:

Raor: that was scary
Sara: not really they were weak
Raor: this is true
Lukav (on radio): this is Lukav now is the time
Raor: Cold Blood
Lukav: we shall meet the plan is in motion
Raor: what plan?
Lukav: I will tell you in the jungle meet me there
Raor: I will go to the jungle
Lukav: yes
Sara: you must go to the jungle
LCC: FRIEND

---

Chapter 3: Archrivals

Pilot Rank: L-1
Pilot Name: Lord Secret
AC Name: Mew
The raven with the most secrets. Some say he is unbelievable. He is still in Cold Blood, but noone knows why. It is a secret.

Pilot Rank: J-1
Pilot Name: Ninety
AC Name: Tattoo Owner
A young raven who runs a bar. Some say he is uncanny. He runs a bar for Ravens. He doesn't actually participate in Raven missions or arena battles, but he has an AC anyways.

In Raor's hangar in Layered:

Raor: I think I need a drink.
Sara: Maybe you should go visit Ninety's bar
Raor: yes
Sara: I will prepare your AC for the jungle

In Ninety's bar in Layered:

90: hello lets talk about guns and sandwiches
Raor: okay
90: I hear lukav is looking for you
Raor: yes
90: he is the most powerful raven
Raor: he is garbage I will slay him for bothering me
90: I wonder if it will be that easy
Raor: it will be that easy
90: what about Cold Blood
Raor: they are my old unit
90: you have killed most of them already
Raor: the strongest are still left hopefully i don't face them
90: are you afraid
Raor: no but i dont want my time wasted anymore lukav's missions don't pay
90: oh that is no good
Raor: its bullshit
Sara: raor i found you, lord secret wishes to speak to you
Raor: why is he here?
Sara: he said its a secret
Raor: lets go

Back at Raor's hanger:

LS: it is I lord secret
Raor: what is it?
LS: I have come to challenge you
Raor: why?
LS: it is a secret
Raor: cold blood
LS: let us face off in the abandoned pokemon arena
Raor: fine
LS: can we talk about pokemon
Raor: no leave
LS: okay
90: I overheard the conversation sounds like a trap i will go with you
Raor: you dont know how to pilot an AC
90: but I have one anyways

On the way to the abandoned pokemon arena:

Sara: I don't trust Ninety I think this is a set up
Raor: I agree I will kill them both to be safe
Sara: what if he is not a traitor
Raor: i saw a turban in his back pocket he has a vendetta
Sara: muslim sympathizer
Raor: traitor or not he must die

At the abandoned pokemon arena:

Raor: I am here time to die
LS: Mew I choose you!
LS's AC overboosts across the map and fires a bazooka at Raor. Raor side steps the shell and cuts the bazooka in two
LS: A critical hit!
Raor: stop talking like that!
Raor kicks LS in the chest and LS falls onto his back. Raor shoots his rifle into his face and chest repeatedly
LS: It's super effective!
Raor: justice!
Raor kicks LS's head clean off and then his AC explodes
Ninety: oh no! Cold Blood!
Raor: I knew you were a traitor
Raor drives his sword straight through Ninety's head
90: How?
Raor: traitors wear turbans
90 explodes
Lukav: splendid you are as strong as ever
Raor: come out so I can kill you
Lukav: I still have 1 more card to play
Raor: exo team
Lukav: they are the most powerful
Raor: we shall see
Lukav: meet me in our old meeting place
Raor: cold blood
Lukav: for answer

---

Chapter 4: Great Pleasure

Pilot Rank: X-1
Pilot Name: Exogen
AC Name: Inception
The last surviving member of Cold Blood unit aside from Lukav. Some say he is undecipherable. He is looking to battle in any way he can even if noone else wants to battle anymore, or if a battle never even started. Everything is subjective. He is one half of exo team, the most powerful team in the Cold Blood unit.

Pilot Rank: X-2
Pilot Name: Exorcet
AC Name: Matrix
The last surviving member of Cold Blood unit aside from Lukav and exogen. Some say he is unflappable. He enjoys looking at planes and playing simulations of planes. He is one half of exo team, the most powerful team in the Cold Blood unit.

In Raor's hangar, in Layered:

Sara: I think finally we will get answers
RS: I pray for answer
Sara: but exo team is strong
RS: cold blood
Sara: you can win you are the strongest
RS: they will die
Sara: yes

In the Zearm Desert

Lukav and team exo stand together in the night

Lukav: the story ends now
Exogen: subjectivism
Exorcet: I like planes
Lukav: destroy him here I must know if he is the strongest now
Exogen: brain in a vat
Exorcet: I like planes
Lukav: he is here I will hide until the fight is over
Raor arrives on the battlefield
Raor: come back here so i can kill you
Lukav: you must defeat the strongest team in Cold Blood first
Raor: they are no match for me
Exorcet fires his laser rifle and Raor dodges, while Exogen overboosts straight at him
Exogen: cqc
Raor: fine by me
Exogen tries to get behind Raor, but noone gets behind Raor
Sara: noone gets behind Raor
Exogen: relativism?
Raor: die scum!
Raor grabs Exogen by the throat and slams every missile he has into his AC. All that is left is the piece of his throat in his hand
Sara: that was overkill
Raor: he talks too much now he will never talk again
Exorcet: I like planes!
Raor overboosts at Exorcet and chops him in half with his sword
Raor: you are the only person I killed that I actually liked
Exorcet: I...like...planes...
Raor: nooooooo
Exorcet explodes
Raor: single tear

Lukav finally comes out from behind a rock

Raor: we finally meet
Lukav: Cold Blood
Raor: what is your plan?
Lukav: to test your power by having you kill all my men, then having you join me to rule the world
Raor: your plan makes no sense why would you sacrifice all your men?
Lukav: because you are the best
Raor: I am the machine
Lukav: let's sacrifice my son in a few years too
Raor: okay

Pilot Rank: S-1
Pilot Name: Raor Stones
AC Name: Bong

The pilot who defeated nine-ball, said by some to be just lucky, others say invincable. He seems emotionless in battle, ruthlessly hunting his opponents until their destruction. The emblem he carries is from his days in the military, a progetech special forces group Cold Blood. He is the last living member of his squad. Many have threatened his crown as Nine-Breaker but none have sucseeded. But this is a new era. Nine-ball is long dead, but Stones lives on. Always training to be better and always on the look out for new technology. He doesn't plan to lose.

FIN

Edited by Penguin Deus, 01 August 2012 - 11:18 PM.

Fanfic: The Return of Owen, A Cold Day in Hell, Armored Core: Hachi-No-Ki , why i hate acu
[SoD]

View PostBakuhatsu Pengin, on 15 December 2016 - 04:53 AM, said:

TALL AND TAN AND YUNG AND LOVELY


#2 Donald J. Trump

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 10:48 AM

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mfw

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#3 YUNG MASTERLESS GLENCOUR

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 10:54 AM

I'm very excited to write chapter 2. I felt like I nailed the voice of Raor.

Edited by Penguin Deus, 03 November 2011 - 10:54 AM.

Fanfic: The Return of Owen, A Cold Day in Hell, Armored Core: Hachi-No-Ki , why i hate acu
[SoD]

View PostBakuhatsu Pengin, on 15 December 2016 - 04:53 AM, said:

TALL AND TAN AND YUNG AND LOVELY


#4 Donald J. Trump

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 11:00 AM

I should have a short, as I am the machine, and start talking in a foreign language.

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#5 YUNG MASTERLESS GLENCOUR

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 11:11 AM

Pretty sure that's going to happen at some point. Maybe not the short, but talking in some other language, being the machine and all.

At this point you are not yet the machine, though.

Fanfic: The Return of Owen, A Cold Day in Hell, Armored Core: Hachi-No-Ki , why i hate acu
[SoD]

View PostBakuhatsu Pengin, on 15 December 2016 - 04:53 AM, said:

TALL AND TAN AND YUNG AND LOVELY


#6 Donald J. Trump

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 11:48 AM

Can I has Justice?

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#7 YUNG MASTERLESS GLENCOUR

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 11:48 AM

you are Justice.

Fanfic: The Return of Owen, A Cold Day in Hell, Armored Core: Hachi-No-Ki , why i hate acu
[SoD]

View PostBakuhatsu Pengin, on 15 December 2016 - 04:53 AM, said:

TALL AND TAN AND YUNG AND LOVELY


#8 Donald J. Trump

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 11:50 AM

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This is definitely an improvement over the other story, although the whackiness isn't as strong.

But that isn't inherent to the story, just it's origins.

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#9 YUNG MASTERLESS GLENCOUR

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 11:56 AM

Yeah, I'm new to the fanfiction writing, so I still have things to work on, like the whackiness you mentioned. I hope I can get chapter 2 written this weekend.

Fanfic: The Return of Owen, A Cold Day in Hell, Armored Core: Hachi-No-Ki , why i hate acu
[SoD]

View PostBakuhatsu Pengin, on 15 December 2016 - 04:53 AM, said:

TALL AND TAN AND YUNG AND LOVELY


#10 Donald J. Trump

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 11:59 AM

Well, I think the goal isn't really literary quality; just humorous cheesiness; so you have the edge on that factor.

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#11 YUNG MASTERLESS GLENCOUR

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 12:14 PM

toe-mae-toe, toe-mah-toe

its a matter of Justice

Fanfic: The Return of Owen, A Cold Day in Hell, Armored Core: Hachi-No-Ki , why i hate acu
[SoD]

View PostBakuhatsu Pengin, on 15 December 2016 - 04:53 AM, said:

TALL AND TAN AND YUNG AND LOVELY


#12 The Talentless

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 01:10 PM

"Sara: His colon is maxed, return to base"

I love it.

You know, I have a unfinished, serious fan-fiction myself that uses a similar style. After my first one that I never finished, I got tired of having to use "Blah," he said. Then he said... Said said said. over and over. I prefer the script style when it comes to writing.

View Postexogen, on Aug 25 2011, 04:45 PM, said:

Really I am jacks dick.

#13 OLDER BALDER FATTER SLOWER

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 01:22 PM

This is one of the best first steps into fanfiction I've ever seen. You are a true 'autuor', PD. Reach for new heights!

this is not kai.

#14 YUNG MASTERLESS GLENCOUR

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 01:37 PM

Yeah I find that writing in a kind of movie script form seems easier to me as well, I think because you get to ignore a bunch of stuff and writing conventions like pacing and plot structure don't matter as much. Writing in a novel form has so many conventions that need to be addressed for it to make sense. Fuck all that.

I actually have tried to write a fanfic in normal novel form and I just couldn't do it. I got bored of it within like two pages. Ideas are more fun than writing stories unless it's a fast-hitting movie-script style Epic like I'm trying to write here. Directed by Michael Bay.

I'm trying to get John to draw this for me.

Fanfic: The Return of Owen, A Cold Day in Hell, Armored Core: Hachi-No-Ki , why i hate acu
[SoD]

View PostBakuhatsu Pengin, on 15 December 2016 - 04:53 AM, said:

TALL AND TAN AND YUNG AND LOVELY


#15 Donald J. Trump

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 01:46 PM

Noob could MS paint it.

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#16 Bakuhatsu Pengin

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 02:02 PM

nob could mspaint it

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#17 Donald J. Trump

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 02:02 PM

Tomatoe, tomato.

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#18 YUNG MASTERLESS GLENCOUR

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 02:22 PM

that works too but idk if I'd want to waste noob's time with that when we could be trolling instead.

John is a different story I'm okay with wasting his time.

Fanfic: The Return of Owen, A Cold Day in Hell, Armored Core: Hachi-No-Ki , why i hate acu
[SoD]

View PostBakuhatsu Pengin, on 15 December 2016 - 04:53 AM, said:

TALL AND TAN AND YUNG AND LOVELY


#19 Bakuhatsu Pengin

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 02:54 PM

nobs got all the time in the world

john is gonna do half then forget about it

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#20 YUNG MASTERLESS GLENCOUR

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 02:59 PM

thats true John is lackluster as a person of quality.

in the myth noob is force. you can draw these if you would like. I'll send you chapter 2 script once I write it.

Fanfic: The Return of Owen, A Cold Day in Hell, Armored Core: Hachi-No-Ki , why i hate acu
[SoD]

View PostBakuhatsu Pengin, on 15 December 2016 - 04:53 AM, said:

TALL AND TAN AND YUNG AND LOVELY






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