YUNG MASTERLESS GLENCOUR Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 (edited) This is a prequel to this story. Armored Core: The Return of OwenDisclaimer; they don't own any armored core, I do. Chapter 1: The Default Chapter A black and purple AC is seen watching over a burning textile factory. It was a turban factory that acted as a front for a terrorist cell of AC pilots, or as they prefer to be called, Ravens. Pilot Rank: A-1Pilot Name: Raor StonesAC Name: BongA new comer who rose through the ranks rapidly. Some say he is invincible. He is like a steel clam: cool, emotionless, and ruthlessly trapping his victims and turning them into profit. He wears the emblem of the Cold Blood unit still. Pilot Rank: S-1Pilot Name: Lukav Mineav Sr.AC Name: MoonscraperThe former head of the former Cold Blood unit when it existed, and the top ranked raven. He is waiting in the forefront to see what Raor can really do. Pilot Rank: A-1APilot Name: TMAC Name: Thor's ColonA not-really impressive rookie who took control of the kai arena as fast as anyone before him. Some say he is indestructible. There are whispers that he has also never been in a real AC fight, just praying on weak targets. He is not from the Cold Blood unit. At mission site Armored Turban Textile Factory: Raor Stones: mission completeSara: good work raorRaor: yes I knowSara: yes you are very funny as wellRaor: ragefaceSara: Return to base Back at a hangar in Layered: Lukav: has he returned yet?TM: not yetLukav: face him to the death and test his skillsTM: okayLukav: RAVENTM: I will get my AC readyLukav: yes At Raor's hangar in Layered: Sara: your AC didn't take much damageRaor: yes that is goodSara: you are getting betterRaor: yesSara: if someone attacks us now you should be ready for themRaor: I believe so yesAC voice: All systems onlineRaor: an enemy is here?Sara: destroy your enemyRaor: okayAC voice: AC detected, pilot name: TM, AC Name: Thor's ColonRaor: heh, I will slay his colonSara: yes slay his colonTM slashes at Raor but Raor boosts over itRaor: too slowTM: you are not supposed to dodge people don't dodge in kai arenaRaor: this is not kaiRaor plunges his sword into TM's head and TM explodesSara: His colon is maxed, return to baseRaor: we are in the baseSara: yesRaor: we need to find out who sent himSara: I found out who already, it was LukavRaor: Lukav? It must finally be time… --- Chapter 2: Duel in the Desert Pilot Rank: L-1Pilot Name: LCCAC Name: JoelThe most powerful Canadian Raven. Some say he is undefeatable. He fought in the kai arena before entering the Canada arena. He is a friend. Pilot Rank: O-1Pilot Name: AJ RavenAC Name: Clockwork Elf 5A mysterious Raven from an unknown land. Some say he is unknowable. He has been seen in many places but he is hard to find. He is looking for his greatest rival. Pilot Rank: P-1Pilot Name: Omega PendragonAC Name: Crying GameA former member of the Cold Blood unit. Some say he is unreasonable. He is loyal to Lukav still. At Raor’s hangar in Layered, after maxing TM out: Sara: what will you doRaor: I pray for answerSara: Cold BloodRaor: yesSara: incoming new mission to destroy underwater turban factoryRaor: I have justiceSara: yesRaor: mission acceptedSomewhere else in Layered:Lukav: We shall proceedOmega Pendragon: Shall I go?Lukav: yesOmega Pendragon: I am eager to see Raor againLukav: interrupt his mission and kill himOmega Pendragon: robots At mission site underwater turban base: Raor: I am hereSara: begin missionRaor: I hate turbansSara: yesAC voice: AC detected, pilot name: AJ Raven, AC name: Clockwork Elf 5Raor: what are you doing here?AJ: I am looking for my rivalAJ fires his rifle and Raor takes cover behind a pile of turbansSara: are you okay?Raor: I am fine he is crazy but not smart or goodSara: he should be easy to kill aloneAC voice: AC detected, pilot name: Omega Pendragon, AC name: Crying GameRaor: I knew you would show upOP: I miss you come backRaor: NEVEROP: PONIES NOOOOOOOP fires his flame thrower at the pile of turbansRaor: 2 vs 1AC voice: AC detected, pilot name: LCC, AC name: JoelLCC: I am the LCCRaor: bibliotecaRaor fires missiles all over OP’s face and explodes himOP: RAOR NOOOOOOooooooRaor: whining to the endAJ: the fight is not over I have alien cannon overed weaponRaor: I will kill you and your aliensAJ: my aliens will kill youRaor rips AJ Raven’s head offSara: good work destroy the factory and return to baseRaor: yesRaor destroys the factory Back at Raor’s hangar in Layered: Raor: that was scarySara: not really they were weakRaor: this is trueLukav (on radio): this is Lukav now is the timeRaor: Cold BloodLukav: we shall meet the plan is in motionRaor: what plan?Lukav: I will tell you in the jungle meet me thereRaor: I will go to the jungleLukav: yesSara: you must go to the jungleLCC: FRIEND --- Chapter 3: Archrivals Pilot Rank: L-1Pilot Name: Lord SecretAC Name: MewThe raven with the most secrets. Some say he is unbelievable. He is still in Cold Blood, but noone knows why. It is a secret. Pilot Rank: J-1Pilot Name: NinetyAC Name: Tattoo OwnerA young raven who runs a bar. Some say he is uncanny. He runs a bar for Ravens. He doesn't actually participate in Raven missions or arena battles, but he has an AC anyways. In Raor's hangar in Layered: Raor: I think I need a drink.Sara: Maybe you should go visit Ninety's barRaor: yesSara: I will prepare your AC for the jungle In Ninety's bar in Layered: 90: hello lets talk about guns and sandwichesRaor: okay90: I hear lukav is looking for youRaor: yes90: he is the most powerful ravenRaor: he is garbage I will slay him for bothering me90: I wonder if it will be that easyRaor: it will be that easy90: what about Cold BloodRaor: they are my old unit90: you have killed most of them alreadyRaor: the strongest are still left hopefully i don't face them90: are you afraidRaor: no but i dont want my time wasted anymore lukav's missions don't pay90: oh that is no goodRaor: its bullshitSara: raor i found you, lord secret wishes to speak to youRaor: why is he here?Sara: he said its a secretRaor: lets go Back at Raor's hanger: LS: it is I lord secretRaor: what is it?LS: I have come to challenge youRaor: why?LS: it is a secretRaor: cold bloodLS: let us face off in the abandoned pokemon arenaRaor: fineLS: can we talk about pokemonRaor: no leaveLS: okay90: I overheard the conversation sounds like a trap i will go with youRaor: you dont know how to pilot an AC90: but I have one anyways On the way to the abandoned pokemon arena: Sara: I don't trust Ninety I think this is a set upRaor: I agree I will kill them both to be safeSara: what if he is not a traitorRaor: i saw a turban in his back pocket he has a vendettaSara: muslim sympathizerRaor: traitor or not he must die At the abandoned pokemon arena: Raor: I am here time to dieLS: Mew I choose you!LS's AC overboosts across the map and fires a bazooka at Raor. Raor side steps the shell and cuts the bazooka in twoLS: A critical hit!Raor: stop talking like that!Raor kicks LS in the chest and LS falls onto his back. Raor shoots his rifle into his face and chest repeatedlyLS: It's super effective!Raor: justice!Raor kicks LS's head clean off and then his AC explodesNinety: oh no! Cold Blood!Raor: I knew you were a traitorRaor drives his sword straight through Ninety's head90: How?Raor: traitors wear turbans90 explodesLukav: splendid you are as strong as everRaor: come out so I can kill youLukav: I still have 1 more card to playRaor: exo teamLukav: they are the most powerfulRaor: we shall seeLukav: meet me in our old meeting placeRaor: cold bloodLukav: for answer --- Chapter 4: Great Pleasure Pilot Rank: X-1Pilot Name: ExogenAC Name: InceptionThe last surviving member of Cold Blood unit aside from Lukav. Some say he is undecipherable. He is looking to battle in any way he can even if noone else wants to battle anymore, or if a battle never even started. Everything is subjective. He is one half of exo team, the most powerful team in the Cold Blood unit. Pilot Rank: X-2Pilot Name: ExorcetAC Name: MatrixThe last surviving member of Cold Blood unit aside from Lukav and exogen. Some say he is unflappable. He enjoys looking at planes and playing simulations of planes. He is one half of exo team, the most powerful team in the Cold Blood unit. In Raor's hangar, in Layered: Sara: I think finally we will get answersRS: I pray for answerSara: but exo team is strongRS: cold bloodSara: you can win you are the strongestRS: they will dieSara: yes In the Zearm Desert Lukav and team exo stand together in the night Lukav: the story ends nowExogen: subjectivismExorcet: I like planesLukav: destroy him here I must know if he is the strongest nowExogen: brain in a vatExorcet: I like planesLukav: he is here I will hide until the fight is overRaor arrives on the battlefieldRaor: come back here so i can kill youLukav: you must defeat the strongest team in Cold Blood firstRaor: they are no match for meExorcet fires his laser rifle and Raor dodges, while Exogen overboosts straight at himExogen: cqcRaor: fine by meExogen tries to get behind Raor, but noone gets behind RaorSara: noone gets behind RaorExogen: relativism?Raor: die scum!Raor grabs Exogen by the throat and slams every missile he has into his AC. All that is left is the piece of his throat in his handSara: that was overkillRaor: he talks too much now he will never talk againExorcet: I like planes!Raor overboosts at Exorcet and chops him in half with his swordRaor: you are the only person I killed that I actually likedExorcet: I...like...planes...Raor: noooooooExorcet explodesRaor: single tear Lukav finally comes out from behind a rock Raor: we finally meetLukav: Cold BloodRaor: what is your plan?Lukav: to test your power by having you kill all my men, then having you join me to rule the worldRaor: your plan makes no sense why would you sacrifice all your men?Lukav: because you are the bestRaor: I am the machineLukav: let's sacrifice my son in a few years tooRaor: okay Pilot Rank: S-1Pilot Name: Raor StonesAC Name: BongThe pilot who defeated nine-ball, said by some to be just lucky, others say invincable. He seems emotionless in battle, ruthlessly hunting his opponents until their destruction. The emblem he carries is from his days in the military, a progetech special forces group Cold Blood. He is the last living member of his squad. Many have threatened his crown as Nine-Breaker but none have sucseeded. But this is a new era. Nine-ball is long dead, but Stones lives on. Always training to be better and always on the look out for new technology. He doesn't plan to lose. FIN Edited August 2, 2012 by Penguin Deus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shirtless Crackhead Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 http://i.imgur.com/bLeNN.gif mfw Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YUNG MASTERLESS GLENCOUR Posted November 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 (edited) I'm very excited to write chapter 2. I felt like I nailed the voice of Raor. Edited November 3, 2011 by Penguin Deus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shirtless Crackhead Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 I should have a short, as I am the machine, and start talking in a foreign language. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YUNG MASTERLESS GLENCOUR Posted November 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 Pretty sure that's going to happen at some point. Maybe not the short, but talking in some other language, being the machine and all. At this point you are not yet the machine, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shirtless Crackhead Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 Can I has Justice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YUNG MASTERLESS GLENCOUR Posted November 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 you are Justice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shirtless Crackhead Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 http://i.imgur.com/RjkDK.gif This is definitely an improvement over the other story, although the whackiness isn't as strong. But that isn't inherent to the story, just it's origins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YUNG MASTERLESS GLENCOUR Posted November 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 Yeah, I'm new to the fanfiction writing, so I still have things to work on, like the whackiness you mentioned. I hope I can get chapter 2 written this weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shirtless Crackhead Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 Well, I think the goal isn't really literary quality; just humorous cheesiness; so you have the edge on that factor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YUNG MASTERLESS GLENCOUR Posted November 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 toe-mae-toe, toe-mah-toe its a matter of Justice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Talentless Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 "Sara: His colon is maxed, return to base" I love it. You know, I have a unfinished, serious fan-fiction myself that uses a similar style. After my first one that I never finished, I got tired of having to use "Blah," he said. Then he said... Said said said. over and over. I prefer the script style when it comes to writing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ataraxis Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 This is one of the best first steps into fanfiction I've ever seen. You are a true 'autuor', PD. Reach for new heights! this is not kai. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YUNG MASTERLESS GLENCOUR Posted November 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 Yeah I find that writing in a kind of movie script form seems easier to me as well, I think because you get to ignore a bunch of stuff and writing conventions like pacing and plot structure don't matter as much. Writing in a novel form has so many conventions that need to be addressed for it to make sense. Fuck all that. I actually have tried to write a fanfic in normal novel form and I just couldn't do it. I got bored of it within like two pages. Ideas are more fun than writing stories unless it's a fast-hitting movie-script style Epic like I'm trying to write here. Directed by Michael Bay. I'm trying to get John to draw this for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shirtless Crackhead Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 Noob could MS paint it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bakuhatsu Pengin Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 nob could mspaint it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shirtless Crackhead Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 Tomatoe, tomato. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YUNG MASTERLESS GLENCOUR Posted November 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 that works too but idk if I'd want to waste noob's time with that when we could be trolling instead. John is a different story I'm okay with wasting his time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bakuhatsu Pengin Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 nobs got all the time in the world john is gonna do half then forget about it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YUNG MASTERLESS GLENCOUR Posted November 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 thats true John is lackluster as a person of quality. in the myth noob is force. you can draw these if you would like. I'll send you chapter 2 script once I write it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bakuhatsu Pengin Posted November 4, 2011 Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae321/INSANE-O-FLEX/COMIC%20SAAAAAAAAAAANS/page1-1.pnghttp://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae321/INSANE-O-FLEX/COMIC%20SAAAAAAAAAAANS/page2.png I DONT READ MANY COMICS I THINK I DID OK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YUNG MASTERLESS GLENCOUR Posted November 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 That's pretty much perfect. Yes. I think we can do this. How long did those two pages take? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bakuhatsu Pengin Posted November 4, 2011 Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 probably half an hour Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YUNG MASTERLESS GLENCOUR Posted November 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 neat well if you don't mind putting in the time, cuz that sounds like it'll really add up, we could do it. It'll make this Epic that much more brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Talentless Posted November 4, 2011 Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 If you really wanted to get in the spirit of any fan-fiction writer, you'll procrastinate like no other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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