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AC3 chpter 1

Posted by megaboy332, 01 October 2010 · 937 views

Hey guys ive been playing AC3 lately so I wanted to make a fanfic for it so...here we go




."Ill go over the mission one more time," the Mission Evaluator said.
"your objective is to eliminate all forces occupying the city, the targets are battle MTs....good luck."
I jumped out of the FTU (Flying Transportation Unit) "Ill do my best!" said Apple Boy. What an odd name. atleast he has one "Heh." Hmmmm reverse joint type MTs with rifles eh? To easy.

I blew a hole in one of the MTs with my rifle. "Damnit this thing can barely move!" I cut the legs out from another one. I saw Apple Boy doing pretty well against three MTs at once. "Need help?" I cut through all three with my laser blade in one swift movement "And we are......done." I said. "You both preformed well welcome to the elite few.....Ravens."




So what do you think guys? This was my first fanfic I should be updating once a week with a new chapter.....




Well, it's nice to see more people wanting to write, but the first thing I'm noticing with all these new writers are their 5-8 sentenced "chapters". These don't really count as a "chapter". Nothing really happens, at least no where near enough for any reader to get drawn into the story. It just seems like you were narrating dialogue in your head as you were playing the game. You didn't introduce any real characters, no personalities, no environmental descriptions, it was more like a quick snippet of an event. I'm not trying to put you down, I'm giving you advice if you want people to read your story, and if you want to get better. I'll ignore grammar for now, because more importantly you'll have to work on plot development and story telling. First, chapters should include the following:Character developmentPlot advancementDescriptionsIt doesn't have to be ridiculously long, but long enough to explain an event crucial to the progression of the plot. You need to show character interactions to make the readers care about them, to get to know them. I would suggest looking at other stories to see how they're done in order to get an idea of what is a proper chapter length and how other authors develop their stories.
Thanks, I will try to make more character stuff and what-not this chapter is probobly the shortest of all of them. Spoiler alert!: The next chapter involves the AC that the character designs and an arena match ^^.
Sorry but im getting held up because there is something wrong with my comp, if I need to I will post the rest of the chapters in this chapters comment section.

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